I grew up in a household filled with anxiety. I lived with my lovely grandmother, whom I called “Addie”, my brother – John and my father, who also is named John. Out of the four of us, my grandmother, father and brother all suffer from anxiety. Is anxiety hereditary? I do not know, nor do I think studies have shown the relevance of anxiety being hereditary. What I do know about anxiety is that it takes over your life. I watched as their anxiety controlled their lives. Still to this day all 3 of them struggle with anxiety. I wish I could help. I am writing this blog in hopes to help connect with them and any of you that suffer with anxiety..
Maybe I can help. I start to think, why do I not have anxiety? What did I do differently that they did not? Some people say it is because I took after my mother. So let’s take a look at that. My mother – Christine, is a very strong independent woman. As a child she faced some tough times. Even as she grew older she was challenged in many different ways, financially and physically. No matter what obstacle seemed to present itself, she always stayed positive. She would never worry about what is to come or the “what if”. The definition of anxiety is “a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.” My mother clearly was not someone who suffered from anxiety. So why do some people have anxiety and others don’t? How did I get lucky and take after my mother? Well, my father and mother were divorced when I was 1. The funny thing is, my brother ended up moving in with my mother at the age of 16. He was not exposed to the anxiety of my grandmother and father anymore. He was now around my mother 24/7. So maybe this is something that you do acquire as a child? I honestly do not know. What I do know is what I do differently and how I think differently than them. Them being my grandmother, father and brother.
Things to try :
Eliminate negativity! Negativity seems to trigger anxiety, and in my opinion it is the most important thing to eliminate. Negativity is “the expression of criticism of or pessimism about something.” It seems that negativity creates a fear to feed the “what if”. Try to think positive! There is nothing to worry about if the outcome is positive. You will take years off of your life eliminating negativity.
Stop procrastination! (Something I suffer with greatly, but I am working on it!) Procrastination could lead to forgotten or incompleted tasks that needed to be done. Therefore, encouraging your anxiety. If you complete what was needed to be done, there is nothing left to think or worry about. You can relax!
Stop overthinking! Stop over analyzing situations. Like my mother would always say “whatever is going to happen, will happen”. Do you ever think something is going to be a lot worse than it actually is? Then when it finally happens it was the exact opposite of what you thought? Think about all those hours wasted over analyzing that situation. Try taking your mind off of whatever it is you are worrying about. Read a book, watch a movie, do something that you are interested in. Instead of thinking what could go wrong, think about all the things that could go right. This goes back to eliminating the negativity and encouraging the positivity.
Exercise! One of the most under utilized “medicine” is movement. Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body! It is impossible to be negative after a workout. That is a joke, but you understand what I mean. Excerising will eliminate wasted hours sitting around, it will release endorphins, and promote better sleep and overall improve your health!
Eat healthy! Your body is precious, so is the food you eat. Eliminate processed foods. You are robbing your body of important vitamins and nutrients. Having an unregulated diet can alter your hormones and state of mind. If you are unaware of what a healthy diet should look like, read a nutrition book(s); or better yet, consult with a nutritionist or dietician. You won’t believe how good you feel after eating “real” food. You will be stronger mentally and physically!
Create coping mechanisms! Try to create your own coping mechanisms when you feel anxiety coming on. I too experience anxiety, but I never let it take over my mind. I am an avid animal lover. I have a beautiful 7 year old pit bull named Zeus. Let’s say I have something on my mind and I just can’t seem to figure out why. There is no reason behind it. For me, that is triggered when I have too much caffeine, so I am pretty much just along for the ride. What I do to manage the anxiety is to try to think of things that bring out a different emotion. Puppies and Zeus(my dog)= Love. I could look at pictures, think of past memories playing with him or even look on Instagram at other pit bulls/dogs and it cheers me up. Dogs are not my only love and the only coping mechanism that works, but you understand the example. You will not always have medication to “pop” whenever you feel an anxiety attack coming on. You should try to find things you are most interested in to change your state of mind.
What I listed above are certain characteristics that I find in myself that differentiates from my grandmother, father and brother. There have been no studies supporting any of the information that I have stated above. I am just hoping that somehow I can connect with one of you and help change the way you deal with your anxiety.
I also want to say my grandmother, father and brother are amazing people. Even though they do suffer from anxiety it does not define who they are. Anxiety does not define you either. You can overcome this and you will! There are so many positive things in all of our lives, we need to focus on what we do have and what we can control. Have a great day!
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This is a great way to express yourself and just let out what is consistently on your mind. Anxiety does hold down thousands of people but it absolutely does not define them.
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